The Kate Chronicles

The Messenger

I'm slowly on the mend and last night I went to see a preview of the movie  "The Messenger." The movie stars Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson, who play soldiers assigned to "bereavement notification." That is, they are the angels of death, the duo that deliver the knock on the door that every military family dreads.

This film has no explosions, no blood and no combat scenes, but it conveys the horror of war in an especially affecting way. One of the young soldiers, Will, is an Iraq veteran, quiet and self-contained, suffering from his own wounds, both physical and psychic. The other, Tony is a volatile, recovering alcoholic, ambivalent about his own service in the Persian Gulf War. Every time they knock on a door, you don't know what to expect, because the grief they deliver is met by a variety of responses. 

The movie was directed by Oren Moverman, who served in the Israeli army for four years. He was present at the screening last night, and someone asked him if he meant to make an anti-war statement with the movie. Moverman explained that many veterans had seen the movie, and one Viet Nam vet had told him that there were three views of war: anti-war, pro-war and in-war. "The Messenger," Moverman said, had an "in-war" point of view, that is, this is what it's like now.

Even if you have shied away from other Iraq movies (as much of the movie-going audience in this county has) please go see this one. 

Cats and Flu

Between the oral surgery and the flu, I have had a rough week. I logged a lot of time in bed feeling pretty miserable. But I've been well taken care of by my loved ones. The Weatherman delivered soup and plenty of liquids, and My Daughter and The Boy checked in on me daily.

And then there was Dr. Cat. Lawson, my older and - it must be said - larger cat was in constant attendance. He always knows when I'm down, and he curls up next to me to provide comfort. He is a very skittish kitty (he was a stray and we think he had a very traumatic kittenhood), so he did sometimes startle and bolt at loud coughs or sneezes. But he returned faithfully to my side each time and saw me through my illness.

This morning I was awoken by a peculiar noise. It was Lawson, and he had let out a cat sneeze, which sounds remarkably like a human sneeze, only more high pitched. And now I have just come to find out that a cat in Iowa was diagnosed with HINI virus. I didn't have swine flu, but I will feel terrible if I got my kitty sick with what was ailing me. 

If I did infect him though, I will return the favor and hang out with him until he feels better too.

PTSD

Amidst all the horror of what happened at Fort Hood, I keep wondering about the soldiers who went to Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan for counseling after they returned from war. What could he have told them? How could he have offered them any sort of counsel or help? Did he make them feel even worse about what they had done?

The difficulties of returning from the horrors of war have been documented since the time of Odysseus. The suffering and dislocation from which soldiers suffer has had a lot of names. Currently we call it PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder. It has also been called "battle fatigue" and "shell shock." But I think the most poignant description is the one they used after the Civil War:  "Irritable Heart."

Flu

Bleah.

Daunted

You know how people casually ask, "How are you?" and they don't really mean that they want a full accounting of your physical and mental state?

There is a corollary for "How's the book coming?" The polite response is "Fine, thank you." The one I usually give is, "Uh....it's coming along slowly." But even that doesn't begin to describe that mess that is my office, my head and my manuscript. 

The most daunting thing about writing a book - at least to me - is not the writing, or the research or the self-discipline involved. It is the complete lack of feedback. I am used to writing for a newspaper, where every paragraph you write is immediately read by an editor, who sends it back with questions and comments and generally guides you to where you need to go next with your work. 

In this world, I write for months on end, without having the slightest idea if what I'm doing is any good or not. OK - that's a slight exaggeration - my agent is reading the first few chapters and says that when they are in decent shape (which evidently they are not yet), she will send them to my editor at the publishing house. And then if I'm really lucky, she can secure me an extension, which I will no doubt need.

Oh, sorry. Did you ask how the book was going? "Fine, thanks."

Local Politics

The rest of the country may be mulling over the significance of the Virginia and New Jersey governorships going from Democrat to Republican.

 But here in little old Westchester County, we are reeling from the surprising defeat of three-term County Executive Andy Spano. I covered Westchester for 18 years for the NYT, and for 12 of them, Andy was in power. And he was "Andy" to me - after all those years of hanging out at the same events (he was speaking and I was scribbling down what he said on paper) we were on a first-name basis. 

Westchester is solidly Democratic (home to Bill and Hill, after all).  That Andy got ousted by a young, relatively inexperienced Republican is big news around here.

Andy's been around a long time and he'll be fine.  But I am thinking of all the people I know on his staff, especially all the folks in the press office, who will soon be joining the swelling ranks of the unemployed. 

PS On another note, thanks for the calls about yesterday's oral surgery. It was very unpleasant. I did not know it was possible to have a hammer used inside your mouth. It can be done. Repeatedly. Ouch.

Back In the Dental Chair

More oral surgery today. Another implant. Today they are putting another titanium screw in my jaw. It takes several hours. I have my "mellow at the dentist" playlist ready on my ipod.

Really, honestly, I take good care of my teeth and floss daily. It's in the genes.

Looking forward to a few days of pudding and soup.

And I'm accepting all sympathy.

The Long Haul

We celebrated an amazing occasion this weekend - my parent's 60th  wedding anniversary. My mom and dad's marriage is a real love story - all these years later, they remain devoted and get a huge bang out of each other. Just to show you how much they have lived through together, here are some highlights from what the world was like when they exchanged vows in 1949:

-The average cost of a new house was $7,450 (which sounds amazing until you realize that average wages per year were $2950).

-A gallon of gas cost 17 cents.

-The cost of a first class stamp was 3 cents.

-The Soviet Union tested its first atomic bomb.

-The New York Yankees beat the Brooklyn Dodgers in the World Series. (Not such a dramatic change!)

-RCA perfected a system for broadcasting color television.

-The first Volkswagon Beetle was sold in the U.S.

-George Orwell's classic, "1984" was published. (By the time the real 1984 rolled around, my parents would be celebrating their 35th anniversary.)

-South Pacific debuted on Broadway. (My parents saw it together then, and again 58 years later as a revival.)

Congratulations to two amazing people with one inspiring marriage!

Getting Paid, One Way or Another

Here's a local news item that caught my eye: a man enters a nearby Taco Bell. He brandishes a gun at the counter and tells the cashier to empty the register and lie down on the floor. Evidently before he collects the cash, however, he wanders back to the manager's office and asks for a job application. According to the police, he was no longer waving the gun and the manager didn't know about the attempted hold up. But there must have been something about the guy, because the manager refused his request and asked him to leave. Meanwhile, another Taco Bell employee had left the store, gone to a nearby Wendy's, and called the cops.

You have to wonder what this guy was thinking. I guess he needed cash, but wouldn't you think he'd have planned ahead of time whether he was going the legal route or the robbery route? Both at the same time seems pretty risky.

I don't think either his criminal or legitimate career prospects are too good. 

What A Mess

Sometimes when my office is really tidy, it means I'm procrastinating. What better way to avoid writing than to do some really fun filing? 

Judging from the current state of affairs - I snapped these pix this morning - you might then draw the conclusion that I am hard at work on the book. And you would be correct. I spend hours every day trying to make progress. Unfortunately the mess in the room also illustrates my mental state. I'm overwhelmed. 

Yesterday while I was on the elliptical machine at the gym, which usually helps me clear my thoughts, it occurred to me that I should take the time to make a much more detailed chapter outline and figure out what material goes where.  And that is precisely what I am going to do today. As soon as I clean some of this stuff up.