Today is the final day I have to review the manuscript. It must be returned to the publisher by tomorrow, via overnight mail. As I was busy trying to smooth out awkward transitions and improve the clarity of some sentences, an announcement of the winner of this year's bad fiction contest arrived in my inbox. Formally called the "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest," the prize recognizes really bad writing. This year's sentence winner was the shortest in the award's 29-year history. Are you ready? It's really bad. OK, here goes:
"Cheryl's mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories."
Composed by an associate professor of curriculum and instruction at the U of Wisconsin, that is an impressive offering of truly appalling writing.
Where to start! Number one is that wind turbines to not have vanes-they have blades!
Posted by: The Weatherman | July 27, 2011 at 08:20 AM